Finding Justice Page 14

He leaned forward. “What do you mean?”

  “Sarah wrote me a letter the day she was killed. It wasn’t postmarked until a week after she died.” She stared. “Do you know anything about that?”

  “What?”

  She held his gaze. “Do you know anything about a letter?”

  His hand slipped from hers and he pushed to his feet. He stared down at her, his gaze intense in the semidarkness. “I don’t believe it.”

  “What?”

  “You really suspect me, don’t you? You really think I could kill Sarah.”

  “Jay—”

  He raised his hand. “Don’t, Cat. Just don’t.”

  Anger and defensiveness burst behind her rib cage. “You lied to me, Jay. What else am I supposed to think? We have been together all afternoon and you’ve made no attempt to tell me what happened with Sarah at the bakery. Were you hoping I’d forget about it?”

  He glared. “Of course not.”

  “So what is it you expect me to believe? You were the last person she contacted. I need something from you to prove it’s impossible you could have killed her. I need you to prove it to me so I can draw a line through you as a suspect. You cannot expect me, a cop, to believe you just because you ask me to.”

  “I’m not asking the cop to believe me, Cat. I’m asking you.”

  She shook her head. “No, you don’t get to do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Play the emotional card. You give me facts. You start being honest with me. I want to know what happened. I want to look at you and know you’re telling me the truth. How am I supposed to do that when you haven’t told me what happened that day?”

  Their breathing sounded loud in the quietness of the night. The sky felt closer and the forest darker. How would they ever get past the brutal murder of their best friend? Cat clenched her jaw and waited. He would answer her question or face the real brunt of her wrath because right then she had no other way to look than at the person she still loved despite seven years of pretending she didn’t.

  He raised his hands in surrender. “I stupidly thought the explanations could wait until after we’d found the real killer. I stupidly thought you’d know I would never hurt Sarah and that Bennett was a moron for wasting time on the wrong damn person. Clearly I was wrong.”

  She glared. “Yes, you were. So let’s get it out there. Why didn’t you tell Bennett about Sarah calling you? And why didn’t you meet her as she asked you?”

  The seconds beat like minutes, the tension heavy and tense between them.

  Jay exhaled and his shoulders slumped. He pulled out his chair and sat. “I didn’t tell Bennett about the call because our exchange when he questioned me wasn’t the most productive conversation between an inspector and a civilian, that’s why.” He picked up his drink. “The guy is an arrogant prick.”

  “All cops are to a suspect when they want answers. Wait until you see me questioning someone I don’t like the look of.”

  The glass halted at his lips, his gaze darting over her face. “Is that what he said? He didn’t like the look of me?”

  “Not in so many words, but I can tell he’s got you down as a spoiled rich kid. How much trouble did you give him when you were using? You might want to cut him a little slack if that’s the only impression he has of you.”

  He drained his glass. “I didn’t give him any trouble.”

  Cat lifted her eyebrows. “Are you sure about that?”

  He scowled. “Yes, I’m sure. Anyway, I had nothing to tell him. He gave me a look like he didn’t believe me and he left even though I gave him my alibi.”

  “And what if Bennett still suspects you and brings it up in my face again?”

  “He can’t suspect me. He hasn’t been back here. I’m clear.”

  Cat swallowed knowing he was far from being in the clear as far as Bennett was concerned. Jay was the only suspect the police had—and that made him more vulnerable than he could ever understand.

  “Where were you, Jay? More important, who were you with?”

  His jaw tightened. “Working.”

  Unease prickled the hairs at the back of her neck. “At eight o’clock at night?”

  “Yes.”

  She closed her eyes and counted slowly to five to get her racing emotions under control. In her heart she felt Jay’s innocence but it wasn’t enough. She had to know for sure. He met her gaze and Cat’s heart ached to see the despair, guilt and loss there. “Jay?”

  “Sarah was at the bakery when I was supposed to meet her. I was late because I was working. I’m always working. That night I was with four visiting executives. I gave Bennett their names and assumed he’d follow up with them for their statements. Why wouldn’t he? He cannot ignore four people.” His gaze dropped to her lips, sad and full of regret. “It’s what Marian meant when she said she believed I could change when others don’t. I craved work like I craved drugs. I let Sarah down because of work and I’m going to know that for the rest of my bloody life. I didn’t tell Bennett about the phone call because I felt like crap, Cat. Even with the alibi, I was possibly the last person she spoke to, and I’m a drug addict. I ran scared. I’m an idiot, but, my God, it’s why I rang you. I needed you because you’re a cop and I knew...or at least thought I did, that you’d know I’d never hurt her. Ever.”

  He pushed to his feet so abruptly his chair clattered to the floor behind him. With a final look at her, Jay turned and stormed into the house. Cat stared after him. This was a murder investigation and he’d lied to her. She shouldn’t trust him. So why did she want to go into the house, put her arms around him and promise him she’d fix this? She’d fix everything.

  She leaned her elbows on the table and dropped her head into her hands.

  What was she supposed to do next? She longed to wave a magic wand and make everything okay again. God, she’d do anything to bring Sarah back to them alive and well. But she couldn’t do that any more than she could take Jay’s words or anger as proof he was innocent of any wrongdoing. She was a cop. She needed proof, no matter what her heart wanted to believe.

  She lifted her head and stared at the patio doors through which Jay had disappeared. She was also the daughter of an alcoholic, an addict. That had taught her more about disappointment, broken promises and lies than even her years in the police force could. Inhaling a long breath, she stood and slowly walked toward the cabin. One way or another, Jay had to understand her head and her heart. Only then could they move forward for Sarah—and each other. Together or apart, Cat would not allow her feelings for Jay to sway her decision making, personally or professionally.

  Addicts lied, addicts swore they’d changed but so rarely did. If Jay wanted her trust, he would have to prove himself to her in more ways than he could ever understand.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  WHEN CAT WALKED INSIDE, Jay was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Pulling back her shoulders, she slowly approached and sat beside him. The ticking of the wall clock sounded loud in the pregnant silence. His cologne teased her nostrils and she inhaled.

  “I want to believe you didn’t kill her, Jay. I want that more than anything.”

  His hands slipped from his face and he turned to look at her. His forearms stayed on his thighs, his shoulders slumped with exhaustion. “But?”

  “But in the end what I want counts for nothing without proof. I’m sorry.”

  He stared and then closed his eyes. “You’re doing your j
ob. You know what I am now. An addict. Someone who was so messed up at one point he frightened the hell out of his best friend. I don’t blame you for wanting proof.”

  Her heart aching, Cat slid her hand into one of his. “Then we’ll find it, okay? If you’re innocent, the proof will materialize. It has to.”

  He opened his eyes and she stared deeply into them. “It will be all right, Jay. We’ll find the killer and you will be free from all that guilt you’re carrying around.”

  His gaze dropped to her lips and he leaned closer. Even knowing what he was going to do, Cat didn’t move back. His mouth covered hers and she lost her head when his tongue touched hers. The passion and frustration, for each other and Sarah, surged into the moment and they went with it, heedless of its ramifications or what happened next. His hand came up and slid under her hair to grip her neck. Cat welcomed the domination as he tugged her against him, her breasts crushing against his chest. Jay. Her Jay.

  The kiss deepened, their hands moved and explored, his thumb brushed her nipple... Cat pulled back, her breath short. They stared, both searching for something from each other. When nothing but the plea to trust him materialized in the deep brown depths of his eyes, Cat looked away.

  “We find Sarah’s killer and then we deal with this.”

  “This? Meaning us?”

  She met his eyes. “Yes.”

  He smiled softly. “Sounds like a plan.”

  She tentatively met his smile. “Good. But right now, we need to find out why Bennett hasn’t eliminated you from his enquiries.” She swallowed the frustration stuck like a rock in her throat. “We need to find that out so we can lay your part, and your mistakes, to rest once and for all.”

  He dropped back against the settee, his gaze fixed on the fireplace in front of them. “I like the sound of that.”

  A modicum of tension left Cat’s shoulders as she watched his profile from beneath lowered lashes.

  He blew out a breath. “You know, my parents aren’t proud of what I’ve done since I’ve been out of rehab. They’re scared.”

  Cat frowned. “Scared?”

  He nodded. “They think work is consuming me but know it’s better than cocaine so they leave me alone. It’s hard facing them every time I go home for a strained family dinner and watch them tiptoe around the drugs...and now work.”

  “They’re working on forgiving you. You should do the same. We all have to think that way or else we’ll be taken under.”

  “But how do I deal with the fear on their faces that I might start using again? You have no idea what it’s like to feel so untrustworthy. I thought seeing the distrust in their eyes was unbearable, but in yours it’s ten times worse.”

  Cat looked to the floor, shame burning deep inside as her mum’s face filled her mind’s eye. Jay’s words proved he was well on the way to recovery. He recognized and acknowledged people’s fears for him, his family’s deep emotional worry. Her mum couldn’t care less about seeing shame or fear or anything else in her daughter’s eyes and that was the heartbreaking thing about Cat’s inability to cure her.

  She turned to look at him, took his hand and squeezed. “You’ve got so much to be proud of. Because you care, you’re getting better. Your not being there didn’t kill Sarah. The bastard who put his hands around her throat did that.”

  “Cat—”

  She shook her head. “I mean it. And Sarah has to be held accountable for some of this, too.”

  He stared at her as though she’d lost her mind. “How can you say that?”

  Tears stung her eyes at the unnecessary loss of such a wonderful woman. “Why didn’t she go to the police? They could have helped her. Why did she need us?” Cat cursed the crack in her voice. “Only Sarah knows why. Why didn’t she ring you again after you didn’t show at the bakery? We know she was killed around the time she was due to meet you, but how soon after?” She stared at him, willed him to vanquish some of the guilt that shone clear in his eyes. “We’ll never know why she thought she was doing the right thing by walking into that forest. So, no more blaming ourselves, okay?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know if that will ever happen, but I’ll try. In the meantime, what are we going to do about Bennett?”

  She inhaled a shaky breath. “You leave Bennett to me.”

  A small smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “Uh-oh.”

  Feeling some of the tension dissipate between them, Cat smiled. “Let’s focus on Sarah’s letter first and I’ll deal with Bennett after that. Sarah said she needed my help. She asked me here even before you did. She knew her life was in danger and we were the only people she could trust with whatever was going on. I’m more convinced than ever her killer is local.” She paused. “We need to find her lover.”

  “Wouldn’t Bennett be looking into that?”

  “He didn’t mention a lover to me but you’re right, that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t know about one.” She raised her eyebrows. “Bennett wasn’t exactly generous with information. He knows I’m going to be poking around but I’m not convinced he’s entirely happy about it.”

  Jay lifted his shoulders. “As far as he’s concerned, I couldn’t give a damn. Sarah’s letter is a step forward. If she knew her killer, that eliminates the hundreds of possible strangers we would have had to consider before.”

  Cat stared down at their joined hands and took a deep breath as she prepared to throw yet another problem into the investigation. “Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.”

  He turned, his brow creased. “Why?”

  Cat grimaced. “She stole over fifty grand of her killer’s money.”

  “What?” Jay’s eyes grew wide. “Fifty grand?”

  She nodded. “It doesn’t take a genius to work out the killer’s motive. The complexity of her murder has grown worse with her letter, not better. I can’t help thinking Bennett suspected exactly that when he decided to let me in. He needs all the help he can get.”

  Jay slipped his hand from hers and pushed it through his hair. “Jesus. What was she thinking?”

  Cat looked at him. “She wasn’t. She was terrified. Doing whatever she could to make this person see sense. You know Sarah, she probably thought she was helping him rather than inviting his anger. Or in this case, rage.”

  “Did she tell you where it is?”

  “All she says is that she hid it on Cowden Beach. She didn’t give me her lover’s name, either. Said she couldn’t take the risk of writing it down but she’d tell me as soon as I got here. The point is, she wrote me the letter on the day she died but it wasn’t posted until after she was killed.”

  “Meaning someone must have read it.”

  “Exactly. Whoever that someone is has probably been waiting for me to arrive and now knows I’m here.”

  His jaw tightened. “Then you’re in as much danger as Sarah.”

  Cat shrugged. “Maybe. The difference is I can shoot a gun and have a black belt in Tai Kwon Do.” She winked.

  “This isn’t funny. I’m not letting you go—” He looked to the ceiling, shook his head and then met her eyes. “This isn’t funny.”

  Cat’s heart lurched. What had he been about to say? She couldn’t see past the mania burning in his eyes, the raw anger and frustration seeping from his pores, threatening to pour out of him like liquid anarchy.

  “Listen to me.” She grasped his hand. “I’ve gained access to the incident room once and I’ll do it again by using this lett
er. It’ll be another way to get to show Bennett I’m playing hardball. Maybe he’ll give me more of what they know.”

  “If the person who mailed the letter was in any way involved with Sarah’s murder, wouldn’t they have burned it? Surely they’d want that letter gone, not for it to reach you.”

  “Not necessarily. Maybe whoever mailed it knew Sarah had told someone else about it and didn’t want the cops asking questions about a letter that was sent but never arrived.”

  He pulled his hand from hers and stood to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace. Cat dropped back against the couch and crossed her arms to counteract the cold feeling seeping across her shoulders. Jay wore the expression of a man trying hard to maintain control.

  She’d bet a hundred pounds his mind was as wrapped up in her as it was in Sarah and the letter. He looked mad. Protective.

  Cat watched him. He had to get ahold of his emotional reaction to her being under the same dangerous threat as Sarah. The anger visibly coursed through him. He loved Sarah...and he loved her and God only knew what nastiness they were yet to uncover. Cat was braced for it, trained for it, but the way Jay’s face shone with undisguised fury beneath the subdued lamplight spoke volumes.

  His eyes were two pools of blackened rage. His frustration evident in the sharp line of his jaw and the vein pumping like a broken arrow down the center of his forehead.

  He gaze locked on hers as he came to a standstill. “So what next? We try to find the money?”

  Cat ignored his question. “Are you okay?”

  “What?”

  She pushed to her feet and fisted her hands on her hips, mirroring his stance. “Are you okay? Because you don’t look it and I’ve watched too many potential witnesses, civilians and victim’s family members be so torn apart by rage and guilt they lost sight of everything else.”

  His jaw tightened. “I’m fine.”

  “Because if you’re not, your concentration is blurred and you’ll be no help to me or Sarah. You have to keep calm, Jay. You could be the person who needs to focus the most, who unconsciously knows the most. You could be the key to this and if you’re mad you could miss a vital and intricate piece of the puzzle.”